Thah's nowt better than 'avin mi granbairns ova fer t' summa 'olidays. T 'suns blazin dahn o't sky.
Ay'e dernt nah what i'd do w'owt mi bairns
Smashin 'thi arr.
Bert dern't think so tho! nah patience wi' young uns he 'aint.
He says, 'Thir allus traipsin all ower mi rheeburb clumsy little aypaths laking in mi garden tramplin all ower mi prize leeks, upsetting mi pidgeons with thi chelpin n chunterin'.
H's turnin' into a reite miserable old sod is arr Bert. Still he's gerrin on a bit.
Arr Norma drops bairns off f'st thing, little Rhianna is 4, n arr maximillius is 6. Dahlin's they arr, they doan't awf tire mi owt thah! Ah'm jiggered b'time the'yve gon 'ome.
Fussy little eaters mind thi! Dern't like stuff we like. Wern't even try tripe n onions! white tripe an' all not even't brown propa stuff!
Nah av' mi cookin' t' posh stuff, like pie n peas, fish fingers, turkey twizlers.
I blame 'em mixin' with 'em southern kids, with their oity toity eatin' 'abits, an' oity toity names like Ralph & Seth, Violet & Pearl, parent's thinkin' thir trendy, but us propa folk, know they've just pinched 'em names straight off Emmerdale, tryin' to fit in wit t' locals.
T'day ah'm gonna show t' bairns ow t' get segs owta t' clogs! norra easy task. Then 'arr Bert's gonna show 'em how to ten't pidgeons, n how t' clean 'em owt propa.
An 'ah'm not gonna tell 'em now but ferr a speacial treat wi' arr gonna have a ferret race this 'afternoon, aye the'll love that.
Love mi bairns i do.
