Bloody X Factor

 

Thah cannot understand why fowk  arr ol chunterin’ on a’baht X Factor. Bloody rubbish if ya ask me.

‘em  judges aint gorra clue what thah’s on abah’t. I mean yan o ‘ems from Australia f’ crissakes, ‘ow an’errth does she no ‘owt?.’Yud think  some yan from Yorkshire, wod av a go, at least they  talk’s sense. I’m no’ even gonna mention that lass from ‘Tyne, bonny bairn  tha’h.

Nah thah’s gorra admit, that that Cowell bloke ain’t dense, he’s garrin on a bit annal. Aye I remember , ’im prancin’abah’t on ‘top o’t pops, dressed up as a dog, he wah, daft sod. An tha’h poncey one with the girl’s name Louise o’ summat, well tha’h no what fowks say abah’t ‘is lot.

T’s   contestants thah get me. Thah’s  th’ lass thah leeks like Boy George, when he wah a youn’un,  or   Hylda Baker ,I can’t mek mi mind up. Gorra face like a bulldog chewin’ a wasp Jerking around on ‘t stage, leek she’s gorra ferret dah’n her britches, Can’t sing a song all’t wey though wi’ out ‘ spoiling ‘t tune, w’i  owt her thinking sh’s Sammy Davis Jr, or summat.  Lass needs fattening up if ya ask me annal.

I’m just chuffed thah’ that bloody Wagner’s blokes  gone, worra a sackless sod he wa’h, a bloody foreigner annall,  dah’n rite pisspotical, if this ask mi, got mi back up propa he did. Frozen shoulder m’ass.

Then thah’s that lad wi’t flat cap, think’s ‘es Colin Crompton, ‘it’s em high notes like thah’s sommat chewing on his’ tackle .

                                                                   By' eck uncanny arr wot

                     She wah’ my favourite thah big lass err that worked on ‘t till in tesco, 

real grand shi wah, like Shirley Bassey in a tent, rite up my street. A propa woman,

 w’i summat to grab ol’orr.

T’ bi honest i’ll be chuffed wen t’s all ower, It’s nah’owt special, an the ‘doant awf drag it owt. Thah’ll only b e yan winner. An thah’s Cowell, an ‘ e dah’nt need mo’er brass .

                                                      Wish f'll Bloody Thinking

                                                             Greedy A'path.