Does thi nah’ I’m a bit niffed.
Me an arr Norah went t’ ‘oss n farrier for a couple o’ pints
last nite and got stuck wi’ a couple of ‘em dahnsizers-nah I’m sorry but they
all talk bollocks-din’t understand a bloody word they wor sayin’. Like bin in a
bloody zoo it wah!
Lucinda n Piers thah wor called- nah what sort o’ names are
them? -peein’ missen laffin I wah.
‘Nah
why do I wanna see your Arse I sed t’him-daft’sod if I wanna see an arse I’ve
gor arr Bert’s arse at ome’.
Nah mam sed arr Norma, who reckons shi’s a bit smart like-He
means house mam-do you want to go see his house.
Sem sort o’ perv if ya ask mi-Arse indeed-then he wor askin
mi if, I’d bin dah’n ‘t smoke to see baked bean?
‘The
Queen mam, have you been to London to see the Queen?'Smart
ass is arr Norma-you’d nah think shi wor one o’mine
‘I think blokes bin smoking summat
funny or bin on’t loopey juice arr summat’ putting ‘er in ‘er place.
' Come dahn
frem smoke and mek no bloody effort t’ fit in-!'
‘Ah look at your boat race,’ woman shouted at
mi-‘Are you brahms and list’.
‘Yes she’s Elephant’s trunk,' sniggered bloke. Well I’d ‘ad abaht enuff of this like-thort I was on another planet.
‘Come on Norma-grabbin’ her by t’
arm wir off I’m not sittin’ wi folk thah’ mek no bloody sense.
‘Nice to meet you-my china plate’
they shouted as we left-I just shook my ‘ed. Bloody go to foot of arr stairs ‘ what’s the
world coming to
'Mate mam, he meant mate.' Norma sighed.